Sundaze

Writing for thought. I must release the hardship, the fear of not doing a great job. I need to quit deviated and just learn how to do it. I need to plan better and follow through with the plans. I need to stop being distracted from the mundane and focus on the ultimate goal. This week was just another example of me getting in my own way. I am tried of routine. I feel like I'm stuck in the process of no real progression. I have tunnel vision and can't see the end. I can't see my hard work paying off. I see only more hard work to achieve and conquer. Is this what I wanted when I decided to leave my humble in south Texas. Now, I find myself pondering over what life might be for me if I never decided to push myself. I guess this is where Robert Frost's famous poem, "The road less traveled" comes to mind. If I chose this other path things wouldn't be much different. Things would still be the same difference and I would still be questioning my life's decisions and what could my life be if I decided otherwise. I must appreciate the life I live now and make best of my situation.

What bothers me about the person I am today:

1. I have gained weight and eat junk food as a remedy for my ill feelings about life
2. I am not doing so well in my classes.
3. I am more dependent on smoking marijuana than I would like myself to be
4. I work a lot and don't get paid as much as I wish I would
5. I feel like I am missing out on seeing my family grow.
6. I feel sad about not giving Anna all the things I wish I could give her.
7. I don't have a car.
8. I owe a lot of money to my mother for helping me follow my dreams.

Things that make me appreciate my life:

1. I have an apartment with electricity, heat, and water.
2. I pay my bills on time.
3. I have two jobs where I get commended for my hard work.
4. I have the most amazingly beautifully wonderful woman in the entire world, Anna Joyce.
5. I am still in school and am close to graduating with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Spanish Language.
 6. I have a loving and supportive mother and two sisters that are always there for me whenever I need it from them.